When I say I’m going to a friend’s house you ask who it is. I say a guy’s name and you’re like “He a guy?” and if I say yes, you think I’m going there to get pregnant. Apparently it’s better if a guy comes to the girl’s house but it isn’t okay for a girl to go to a guy’s house. THAT’S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. And even if I tell you that they’re just friends, you go off and say “Yeah, sure, friends. Friends just get worse and worse.” Well what the fuck would you know? “Girls your age are getting pregnant all the time.” WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU SEE GIRLS ALL PREGNANT? HUH?! Do you honestly think that I’ll go around getting pregnant, huh?! SHIT! What difference does it fucking make when the guy goes to the girl’s house?! SERIOUSLY, STFU. You see me go to church every week, I go to healing mass on Fridays, too. I am a child of God. Do you think I’ll just go throwing my body around? You don’t fucking understand. If it’s a girl friend, then I could go to their house whenever. When it’s a guy friend, then if I go there I’m having sex. NO. YOU NEED TO STFU. I’m going there to hang out, just like when I go to a girl’s house. You can tolerate me going to the house of people that you know, but when I go to someone else’s house suddenly I’m going there to get it going? NO, JUST FUCKING NO. I’m going there to be with the people I wanna be with. I’m going there to hang out, play games, and talk. I am NOT going there to get pregnant, do drugs, etc. That’s just fucking stupid. I even asked if a guy can come over and you were too quick to say no. You don’t fucking understand friendship. Just because they are of the opposite sex does not mean that our friendship will ever go beyond friendship. You can suck my fucking dick. Thank you.
I was happy. Like really happy. You almost never crossed my mind. I want to be happy like this. But the moment I come home and check my MySpace, things start to infect my mind. I’ll be alright. Even though it hurts today, I know I couldn’t escape it for long. I almost forgot I still had feelings for you. But no matter what, they haven’t disappeared yet. Until that day, I’ll keep trying.
I had fun. I woke up at 1:30 and Tommy had asked me to go to Jacob’s house for recording. Then his ass was like “OH NO GO TO MARK’S HOUSE!” then I showered, got dressed, OUT THE DOOR! I walked to Mark’s house. The sun could SMD right there. So me, Tommy, Jacob, Mark, & Jayden basically spent the day together. We love Mark’s trampoline & karaoke machine, btw haha. It was really fun and things just had to come to an end around 8:30 when Jacob’s mom picked us up. Hopefully the same day tomorrow. OH OH OH, and FAHA members, meeting tomorrow. I’ll be there with Jacob and there’ll be food! Kbye.
Everything. And bits of my conversations seem to revolve around you. It makes me miss you. But I can’t. I’ve eaten ice cream, watched dramas, and was surrounded by people who care. I can’t let myself down. I can’t let them down. I can’t. I can’t ever let you down again. I can’t find myself wanting to fall asleep. It hurts, yes. At times it does and others it doesn’t seem to affect me at all. I even tried to look at other people. Hot bodies, sexy faces, none of them seem to compare to you. I only want you. Even though I called you a fag, even if I said you were fat, even if I compared you to others, it’s all you. I miss you. You’re face, you’re smile, you’re everything. I miss calling you. It feels like an empty night without you saying “Goodnight, I love you” to me. I can’t find myself falling asleep anymore. It gets harder and harder to eat. Things were easy with you, even when were argued. My life was so easy. I felt like I was floating. But my world came crashing down. It’s alright, don’t help me up. I’m not so dependent on you that I couldn’t run my life without you. I’ll find another guy that could give me those stupid feelings again. And then I’ll be happy. But for now, I have to life trying to build up what you broke down.
As I grow up, I realize how different my relationships with friends are.
Wingwoman/Wingman: These are the ones you get along with the most. The one you’d look forward to doing anything with. Never annoying and can always laugh at the simplest things with. The ones you’d feel kind of awkward doing something new without.
Family Friend: These are the ones that your parents want you to hang with. Either because the parents get to meet more, easy carpooling, or easy baby-sitter.
Hang-ons: The most annoying individuals. These stick on to you when you don’t want to. Your chemistry with them is below zero and in their eyes, it shows best friends forever.
Homework Buddies: You usually only speak to these if you need help on your homework or they need help with theirs. If, in class, you don’t understand something, these are the second or third you’d ask for help or to copy. The first is your closest friend in that class. The easy study guide.
Hour Friend: The one that you hang with for about an hour in a certain class because you have aren’t acquainted with anyone else. You never hang with these anywhere else outside the classroom.
Frienemy: This is the one that pretends to be nice to you, but inside, really dislikes you. They usually pretend to be nice and hold grudges against you because they don’t have a good reason to why they don’t like you.
Drifter: One that you were close with before, but are slowly drifting away because you don’t have anything in common anymore. It’s normal, because the common things that change are usually because of growing up.
Oh you know just beat Voldermort when I was 11. Then his memory when I was 12. Saved my godfather when I was 13. Competed in a Triwizard Cup when I was 14 then watched my sort of friend die and witnessed the rebirth of the Dark Lord but made it out alive. Oh when I was 15 I fought Voldermort again and found out that I have a destiny and that I had to kill Voldermort if the Wizarding World were to find peace. When I was 16, I had to deal with that info and school and find Horcruxs in order to kill Voldermort and had to watch my mentor die at the hands of my enemy. 17 was a rough year too. I couldn’t return to school, Voldermort took over the Wizarding World, I chased down Horcruxs with my best friends, almost lost one, found the place where my parents died protecting me, then I broke into a bank, stole a dragon, flew to Hogwarts and lead my friends into battle against the forces of evil, losing some of them at the hands of evil wizards, then sacrificed myself so the war could end and give my friends a chance. Turns out I managed to kill the part of Voldermort in me then killed him and saved the entire world. And that was all in just a span of 7 years.
Hey Edward Cullen, you’ve been around forever. What the fuck have you done besides whine and bitch and moan?
You did not just type
Sorry Tommy. I gotta agree to this. I love Harry <3
I could imagine us like we were the best of friends, talking laughing & smiling. A part of me wants to add you back on aim and just say a simple “Hello” and hope you’d say it back. Another part says to move on and smile. Even though I’m happy as I am right now, it still hurts. Holding myself back takes almost all my willpower but I know sometime that it’ll be worth it. One day, yes one day, I’ll talk to you. Even though I said never to talk to me, never only lasts for such a time. I meant only until I could talk to you without falling for you a third time. Things change, feelings fade, life goes on & restarts are made. I hope I’ll get a time to restart with you as friends.