The thing I prayed for most this week was that you actually go to church, Dad. I know, you’re tired and lazy sometimes but I am, too! I still find time to get ready and rush over to church. You make grandma cry. I’ve been praying and praying, hoping that one day you’ll realize that you actually want to go to church. God saved you, Dad, please please please please go to church. You almost died, we both know that, and you’ve made a miraculous recovery the doctor’s can’t explain. Can you just please go to church with me? Please, dad?
I understand why this would break your heart and all, but do you realize how many trees we cut down for the production of printed books? And some books aren’t ever opened and are, for lack of words, wasted paper. Sorry, I’m going to have to side with the eReader on this one.
Why is it that whenever I’m with you, you always have to bring up Daniel? Mom, you’re getting really annoying and irritating. Today everything about anything involved Daniel in some form. Whenever I talked to you, the name “Daniel” was included in the conversation. It’s irritating. Why the hell do you think it’s okay to go ahead and torment me about breaking up with my ex? I had my reasons and it’s not your business to go snooping around in. You make too many assumptions about the reasons behind the big break up, but none of your assumptions are correct. You even had the nerve to call him your “future son in law” even AFTER the entire break-up! You always want me to talk to him but you know what? It’s YOU that makes it completely awkward for me to talk to him. The reason Daniel and I aren’t friends right now is because you keep blabbing away like he was some sort of one in a million. No, mother, I don’t want to keep listening to you constantly bring him up. I’m sick and tired of hearing his name in my daily routine. The reason I absolutely refuse to talk to him is because of you. The reason I hate hearing his name is because of you. The reason I don’t give a fuck about what he does anymore is all because of you. You’re ruining everything for me. You run your mouth off as if it’s a joke. I don’t fucking like it. I don’t want to spend time with you anymore because all you ever want to talk about is my grades, how much money I’m spending, and him. I’m not trying to choose a boyfriend over my own mother, but you’re making it so hard to keep a good relationship with you, mom. Every single time you bring up something about Daniel, it hurts me because you’re not supporting my happiness. Instead, you’re just thinking about yourself. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Mom, your daughter is happy in her current relationship and with her life but you’re getting in the way of that happiness. Will you please, for the love of your own daughter, quit talking about him? Why can’t you just support me? You’re always thinking about yourself. You moved out of the house and divorced Dad. You got a new boyfriend and I didn’t approve because I love Dad. You and Dad have been together for years, since you guys were thirteen/fourteen. That was years, and the both of you raised me. How do you think I felt when all of those years were torn apart with the divorce? And then you all of a sudden decided to get a boyfriend. I hated it, but I never said “Don’t divorce dad, mom.” or “I don’t like your new boyfriend.” I always thought about your happiness, mom. Why can’t you just think of mine? Thinking about the divorce between a relationship that lasted years and years and I’ve never said a word about it but you’re trying to criticize me on a relationship on just 8 months. Mom, you just don’t get it, do you? Please, please, please.. I’m begging you to support me on this.
Since autumn is taking place, we’ll be doing many awesome things together. We’ll sit and make s’mores and drink hot chocolate while watching a cutesy little movie. Then we’ll have a picnic in “Narnia.” Then we could go to the Kids’ Museum with my little cousin & sister and you could watch me blend in with the little kids. We’ll go and run on a hill and you can watch me trip and fall and roll. We’ll watch a sunset together. We could make a video about us doing stupid dares like taking a spoonful of cinnamon, drinking a bottle of ketchup, playing chubby bunny, and do another stupid thing. We could go uni-cone-ing and coning. We’ll have an eating competition and you’ll probably win. We’ll watch an entire marathon of Spy Kids. I’ll wax your legs for you *wink wink*. I’ll eventually get sick and you’ll make me chicken noodle soup. We’ll play Just Dance 2 & Dance Central and I’ll beat you because I’m a beast. We’re going to the waterfront and get wet. You have no choice. I’m going to feed you a mysterious filipino dish that will look like doo doo, but you’re going to love it. We’re gonna decorate someplace with sidewalk chalk because I love drawing on the ground. I’ll force you to play a scary game with me and I’ll enjoy watching you scream. We can wrestle around and I’ll give you a black eye. We’ll go to the zoo because I love zoos. We’ll go and adopt a cat and name him Sr.Gato. Then my snake would probably eat him, but that’s okay, too. We’ll own a collection of pillow pets. We’re going to stupido things and make everything fun. We’ll go to church every Sunday and thank God that we met. We’re gonna take Shantou to the park and push him on the swings and go down the slide with him. We’re going to have an in depth conversation about anything and everything just sitting together. We’ll make a cover of a song and you’ll eventually sing a song for me. We’ll just lay down and stargaze. We’re going to eat all day and regret it the next day. And one day, in the middle of our crazy adventures, we’ll realize that happiness lies in the simple company of each other.
So as of wednesday it will be our official month. Feels like so much longer… I like the fact that I can be open and you wont judge. I love that you put up with my gay texting and never complain. Amariah dont feel bad about me having to ride my bike all the way to your house, im fat and need exercise. Sometimes I wish I could say everything on my mind but dont know how to say it. I hope that you trust me and will never get jelly over gay ass girls. I love to cuddle with our baby boy and I wanna get that cat and name him Sr. Gato LOL! Well I have so much more to say but it will just have to wait till wednesday. Be ready for your surprise on wednesday morning, it has to do with chalk and a sidewalk Aahah! Well dont forget we gonna celebrate together at Six Flags this saturday! Ok… Bye I love you munchkin :)